Category — Webby Goodness

Monty Python gets a lot of credit for being one of the funniest comedy groups in history, but the website  www.aaaugh.com also credits them with what it considers to be “The World’s Worst Joke”.

From Monty Python:

Q: What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
A: Dung!

What do you think? Worst ever?

If you have a worse joke, please let us know. We love to hear things we don’t enjoy.

Perhaps you have heard of this site? Or perhaps your friends are sensitive enough to your long struggle with society-imposed celibacy and are kind enough not to throw this sex-o-meter site in your face. My friends are not so kind, and recently brought this thing to my attention. It is essentially an interactive map of the world where you can register your just-having-had-sex-ness, for all the web to see.

Because it’s important. Because I really want to know that someone just did it in the field behind my old elementary school (that’s hallowed ground, people). Ugh. I mean, sure, when I do occasionally hook up with people, I might feel the urge to tell as many people as possible, just to have a public record of the event. But there are more subtle ways of doing this, like pointing to the guy you just hooked up with, nudging your friend and saying, in a carefully modulated stage whisper, “yeah, I totally hit that shit. No, that one there, in the paintball shirt, with the thing on his face. Yeah, he’s totally into paintball, and I had the sex with him. Twice.”

Basically, this site should really be named overshare.com. It could also include lists of symptoms you thought indicated having a venereal disease but turned out to be  ingrown hair, the color of your vomit/urine/fecal matter, your grandmother’s unique and disturbing health problems, your pet’s skin condition, twitter updates about having “really bad” PMS… you get the idea. I don’t want to KNOW. I don’t want to overhear these things being discussed on your cellular mobile phone device while in line at the grocery store, I don’t want to see them posted on my facebook page where my mom can see them and be horrified, and I don’t want to look at the KFC down the street from my house and have to think “lovegerbil69 totally did it in that bathroom, then went straight back to work.” Shudder.

The site may not be my thing, but I will say it is eerily cheerful and upbeat, and pretty well-organized. They totally have these cute little pink and blue girl/boy icons that show you what the gender make-up of the most recent sexual festivities in your neighborhood were, and what positions were used. Apparently those pink and blue icons are pretty flexible. And creative. And have no qualms about doing it in a movie theater during an afternoon screening of Astro Boy. They have taught me a few things…  things I didn’t want to know.