Top Ten Questions I Have After Seeing Avatar

Avatar Movie Poster

10) If a gardener died and went to heaven, would it pretty much be Pandora?

9) What would porn look like in IMAX 3D?

Do the Omaticaya mate with their little blue ponytendrils?

7) Who would win a staring contest between Col. Miles Quaritch and Sauron’s Eye?

6) How much blue paint will sell the week of Halloween 2010?

5) Is Avatar the biggest budget film ever made without a single discernible product placement, and will there be a Pandoran location of McDonald’s in the sequel?

6) Am I the only one who is weirded out by how big that girl-alien was compared to “Jake-soo-lee” when she cradles his human form like a tiny infant? Hello, Amazonian woman fantasy much, James Cameron?

5) How is it possible that Sigourney Weaver was more attractive as an alien than a human? Especially with that 80′-style cutoff red top. Retro-alien hot.

4) At some point or another in his life, James Cameron must have come across something that he has reacted to by calling it “too weird”. What the HELL must THAT thing have looked like if the stuff in Avatar is normal to him?

3) Was everyone else also envious of the flying stuff and wish they could be flying on those dragony things too? (Ikran?)

2) How many times is normal for a man to cry in a movie? Not counting Titanic.

1) If they found enough Unobtainium so that they had lots and lots of it for everyone, would they change its name to Easilyobtainium?