Top Ten Things People Will Think You’re Crazy For, If They Overhear You Saying It To Yourself At A Bus Stop
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Bus Stops Attract Crazy
When you are standing alone at a bus stop, sometimes things slip out. Thoughts. Things that probably aren;t meant to be blurted out loud, but they are. When people notice you saying this stuff to yourself they think you’re crazy. Here are some of those things you shouldn’t say.
10) If I didn’t WANT bananas, I wouldn’t have BOUGHT bananas.
9) If that shoe hadn’t been stuck up there, then maybe… maybe he woulda had a chance.
8 ) No, I shouldn’t kill people.
7) I look like Lurch.
6) You can’t make me.
5) Fuck you!! (angrily, thinking of a family member or partner who has pissed you off)
4) 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1… (then look at them)
3) Simon waits here at the bus stop like he was told.
2) Lip. Lip….. Lip. Lip read. Lip r-e-a-d-e-r-s. (long pause) Lips.
1) Heartbeat one. Heartbeat two. Heartbeat three. Heartbeat four. (and so on.)
Bonus Material:
11) Excuse me. (to no one).
12) If anyone asks me to move again I’ll tell them no again.
13) How did I get here.
14) Yip-yip-yipeee! Yet-yet-yetiiiiii!
15) (with annoyance) No one has brought me my frappuccino!
16) Errrm, ughhhm, rrmmrmm devil rrmrmm uhhhmmmm mrrrrmmmm.
17) I talk to myself until you do. I talk to myself until you do. I talk to myself… (repeat)
18) If no one looks me in the eye it won;t happen again.
19) (if there are only two of you at the bus stop) How are all of us people going to fit on the bus?
20) I like to talk my words.
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3 comments
Does anyone else post on this blog? lol.
It’s been a slow couple of weeks for new funny videos, or I would be! I’ve been looking.
Meanwhile… the new brevityTV site is happening. Awesomeness, distilled into pill form, and then that pill is taken by a unicorn, and then the unicorn pees from excitement, and Thor the god of lightning drinks the pee, and then he smiles. The glimmer in his smile? That’s the new site.
But that’s where MY time’s goin’.
So’s you know.
(This comment? Also a thing you could say at a bus stop to make people think you’re nuts.)
If you’ll notice, usually I’m second in posts…I miss one week and Meghan B. grabs my spot. If you continue to provoke Joe, I’ll just have to begin a Quantity over Quality posting campaign : P
Great post, btw
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