Every guy will probably date at least one Cat Lady in their lifetime.  That’s a statistic I just completely made up, but it’s absolutely true.  Sometimes ya just find out way too late that the girl you’ve been dating owns 10 cats.  Sometimes she hides her hive of cats really well and you don’t realize you’re knee-deep in Cat Ladyness until it’s way too late.  And sometimes you just like cats and eventually become overwhelmed.  I submit that dating a Cat Lady aint all that bad yo, but just in case you’re on the fence, here are some pros and cons to consider before you decide to press onward or break up with the Cat Lady:

PROS

1) Cat Ladies can talk to animals (cats, usually)

If your Cat Lady girlfriend can talk to ALL animals, then this is very useful if you’re ever lost in the wilderness.  However, if she can only talk to cats (which is usually the case), then this trick is utterly useless unless you’re lost in a pet store.

2) Cats can be used as transportation

The more cats the better when dating a cat lady.  If she has 40 or 50 cats, then hop right on the furry little critters and have them carry you around town like a meowing magic carpet.  Cats can usually climb walls and fly, so a cat carpet can be more efficient than a cab or even one of those flying chinchillas.

3) The Cat Lady and her cats might be nice enough to show you their cat kingdom deep below the earth’s crust

WARNING: Usually when they show you the underground cat kingdom, you’ll either be forbidden to leave or be sworn to secrecy.  Personally, I can’t keep a secret, so usually I pass on the cat kingdom.  But, hey, maybe living in furry darkness is your thing.  Oh and you’ll also be expected to toil away in their kitty cat salt mines if you choose to stay underground.

4) Cats can be used as a food supply during an extreme emergency

Some cats are useless–any Cat Lady will tell you that.  And thems good eat’n if a snow storm or earthquake makes food retrieval impossible.  Don’t eat cats in front of the other cats…

5) Cat Jamboree!!!! WEEEEEEEEE

Quick!  Pick up a banjo and play along!  Dance with the cats! Dance, I say! Don’t just stand there! You’ll insult the cats! Cat Jamboree!! Weeeeeeee!!!  (or WEEEEEEEEE, depending on the Jamboree).

CONS

1) Your Cat Lady girlfriend will probably attempt world domination at some point

What do you do with 100 cats, the ability to talk to cats and an insatiable appetite for the slavery of all mankind?  You construct a volcano island secret base and try to take over the world.  You’ll be expected to help out, of course.  PFFFT, women.  Sometimes they’re soooo annoying and just want you to play along…

2) Aw shoot there poo evewy where and cat poo is icky smelly sticks to your shoe aw shucks poo got in my mouf

Cat poo.  Yyyeck.

3) Evil Cats are especially evil and nice cats are a little bit evil

Let me just say that I love cats.  They’re awesome.  But they’re evil.  Shifty eyes. Creeping around everywhere.  Petting their knife collection.  Laughing a little too hard at the movie American Psycho. Posters of Dexter in their bedroom. Sooooooo evil.  Evil. Cats.  Short sentences are a weapon of the cats.

4) Your friends will eventually make fun of your Cat Lady girlfriend and your cat lady girlfriend will eat your friends

Just keep your friends away from your Cat Lady girlfriend for as long as possible.  Unless you want a fat Cat Lady girlfriend lounging around your apartment with a smug grin.

5) Cat Ladies are actually a pile of highly-trained cats trained in the art of seduction, American English, sex, mathematics, and glue.

Don’t turn your back on a Cat Lady.  It’ll be the furriest last decision you ever make.